I am stuck in a love-hate relationship. Living with her is important but at times she just gets me down. These are my confessions which have been bottled up generally within the walls of my own home - until now.
Sometimes we get along very well. She loves football just like me, which is great, we can have controversial discussions on the world of football. She also loves tennis and keeps me filled in with what is going on. We can literally spend hours in sport.
She also helps me appreciate my family more, which is definitely a good thing. She consents to having my family visit me where I have been able to enjoy valuable hours with my parents.
But at times I just can't stand the mere sight of her, let alone attempt to bond with her. I tend to shout at her a lot when things take a turn for the worse, and what makes it really bad is how she just sits there saying nothing in response! I feel like pulling my hair out at times! It seems to be worse in the mornings, which gives me a bad mood for the rest of the day.
I'm always waiting for answers - she enjoys making me wait, and wait, and wait before she relieves me of the boredom. Yes, our relationship has reached a point where I demand quick love, yet I'm so slow to show it in return. I know, I'm bad, but we've been together for almost four years and perhaps the companionship is wearing thin. She's too big and I have often dreamed of having a new 'her', a thinner, sexy and more lovable version, but that's just too much of a price to pay right now.
Am I being too harsh? I mean, there are moments of passion, but if I spend too long with her, she just gives me a pain right between my temples. Yes, it gets that bad. But I continue to stay with her in this love-hate relationship because honestly, I can't afford the divorce and re-marriage bills.
I'm glad I've got these confessions off my chest. I hope you understand the way I feel. I guess I have to be thankful that I even have her in my house with me each day.
Because despite all her weaknesses, she is a miracle, so please, don't freeze me out any more, my dear computer!